202. Avoid Defensive Listening | Generous Leader Coaching Tip

“We hear the message through our own insecurity.”

In this episode of the ROG podcast, Shannon Cassidy discusses the concept of defensive listening, a barrier to effective communication. She explains how defensive listening occurs when individuals filter messages through their insecurities or fears, leading to combative or withdrawn responses. Shannon provides clues to identify defensive listening in oneself and offers three strategies to overcome it: pausing before responding, seeking clarification, and embracing empathy. By practicing these strategies, individuals can foster genuine connections and enhance their relationships.

Shannon Cassidy is Founder and CEO of Bridge Between, Inc. a boutique leadership development firm specializing in generous leadership, behavioral change, executive presence, effective  communication, collaborative teamwork, and conflict resolution. She provides Executive Coaching, Facilitation (team sessions, mentoring programs, leadership retreats, executive workshops, mediation services) and Keynote Speaking (conferences, annual events, ceremonies) all custom designed. This is her podcast, R.O.G. Return on Generosity focusing on how to be a corporate generous leader by sharing time, talent and gratitude. 

Shannon combines her keen ability to get to the heart of every matter with a proven track record as a corporate leader. Before founding Bridge Between, Inc. she spent years building profitable businesses and driving innovation and leadership initiatives. This real-world experience formed the bedrock of her success. She equips her clients with the strategies, tools, and inspiration to thrive during organizational change and to lead with vision, purpose, and generosity. 

Shannon has authored several articles and books including Discover Your Inner Strength (2009), The Five Degree Principle: How Small Changes Lead to Big Results (2013), V.I.B.E. A Self-Discovery Journey to Authentic Leadership (2014) and Grounded in Gratitude a one-line-a –day, five-year gratitude journal (2015-2023). Her current efforts focus on the benefits of Generosity at Work.

Chapters:

• 00:00 Understanding Defensive Listening
• 03:11 Strategies to Overcome Defensive Listening

R.O.G. Takeaway Tips:

• Defensive listening occurs when we filter messages through insecurity.
• Recognizing defensive listening in ourselves is challenging but essential.
• Making assumptions can indicate defensive listening.
• Personalizing comments often leads to defensive reactions.
• Resisting the speaker shuts down opportunities for growth.
• Pausing before responding allows for intentional communication.
• Seeking clarification encourages understanding and dialogue.
• Empathy is crucial for effective communication and connection.
• Practicing these strategies fosters a culture of generosity.
• Avoiding defensive listening can significantly enhance relationships.

Resources:

• YouTube https://www.youtube.com/@ShannonCassidybb 
• Bridge Between, Inc. https://bridgebetween.com
• The Five Degree Principle by Shannon Cassidy
• V.I.B.E. by Shannon Cassidy 
• R.O.G. on Apple Podcasts https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/r-o-g-return-on-generosity/id1508207492 
• R.O.G. on Spotify https://open.spotify.com/show/1L9UnWdoiAX8MtRKXjdPY3 
• Video of this episode on YouTube https://youtu.be/PNfiBD-2PLI 
• Free N.D.I. Network Diversity Index https://bridgebetween.com/network-diversity-index/ 
• Free Generosity Quiz https://bridgebetween.com/generosity-quiz/ 

Credits: Sheep Jam Productions, Host Shannon Cassidy, Bridge Between, Inc.

Coming Next: Please join us next week, Episode 203, Special Guest, Nancy Hogshead.